A Memorable TV Debate

As you know our TV NGO News Channel is the best Channel in the universe. Its telecast reaches in every corner of the universe including Dark holes. Only Mars does not allow its telecast due to technical reason. But our rival channels whose reach is not beyond this Solar System, take advantage of this condition & interrupt our telecast through Mars.

The same happened today when we were conducting live TV debate among different groups over “The Leader’s” speech in the house. As our rival TV Channels knew the impact of such debates on our channel, they manage to disturb our live telecast at of time. But, our team which is the best, scripted the debate. The script of debate is presented here. You may read it till we resume our live telecast. Thanks

--------

TV NGO Moderator: Welcome viewers in this special live telecast debate over “The Leader’s” rare speech in parliament at the economic situation in the country. It is rare in the sense 1) He spoke after lots of demand in both houses over economical situation. 2) Perhaps it is the only speech where he added something of him own over written, sorry, typed but unsigned speech. Whatever may be the case, he delivered speech. Now no one can say him Mauni Baba. We will discuss points he raised or answered in this special & Breaking Telecast. We have selected three India fame personalities to participate in this debate. One each will answer on behalf of the side they represent. As you & they know, we don’t allow participant to turn TV debate in house. Your moderator will ask one question at a time & debaters may answer that in 1 or 2 sentence. In no case anyone shall speak while other is speaking. Are all debaters ready?...Ok fine here is first question

TV NGO Moderator: - As I earlier observed that this time “The Leader” has added some thing on his own over writte..err. sorry typed speech. Your take.

Ruling Side Debater: - The Honorable Madam always vet his speech. But as she is ill, “The Leader” has taken advantage of her illness & add something on his without bothering how much effort Madam has to make in damage control.

Opposing Side Debater:- Here the cat is out. But we maintain “this addition” which shows that “The Leader” too want some freedom. Perhaps he may free himself and join us one day.

Aam Debater:- Our “CLEANER” is answer for all problem. We will clean “The Leader”, Madam & opposite side once our cleaner becomes operative.

TV NGO Moderator:- Don’t you think The Leader addressed the parliament very late? As per general perception he should have spoken earlier. Your take.

Ruling Side Debater:- No it is not late at all. He spoke by 1330 which is not late at all. At the most you can say he spoke at lunch time. And more over, Do you think Madam will allow him to speak so often? It is not done in Ruling Side. We are very democratic side unlike opposition where many leaders are fighting over who should speak who should not.

Opposing Side Debater:- The Leader never speaks on his own. My learned friend rightly said that actually he has taken advantage of Madam’s illness & spoke. Next time Madam should take care of it. We also taken advantage of madam’s illness otherwise when we press him to speak, he hides under Madam’s burqa.

Ruling Side Debater:- If object over Burqa word. It is un-parliamentary.

TV Ngo Moderator:- Sir this is not parliament. Don’t make noise or jump in the well of debate. But I request Opposing Side Debater not to use any word over which Mahabharat has already happened. Now Aam Debater time.

Aam Debater:- Both sides are engaged in animated or you can say Nura Kushti. See now we have come. We will clean the system with our cleaner.

TV Ngo Moderator:- Ok. Now let us get on contain of speech. The Leader has said “Faith is necessary” Your take.

Ruling Side Debater:- He is very much right. We all have full faith in Madam. But this opportunistic opposite side does not have faith in her. They should learn from our great heritage & history. We have always respected & had faith in foreigners. But then you can’t teach manners to this Desi educated side. Actually none of their leader had education in foreign. They must have full faith in her only then our great country will progress further.

Opposing Side Debater:- We oppose this faith word. It belongs to a particular fundamentalist who always demand faith. We charge “The Leader” for his intentional use of word “Faith” to appease a particular religion. We are against all appeasement.

Aam Debater:- Both are opportunist. Only we can give Faithfull rule to this country by using Cleaner.

TV Ngo Moderator:- Ok..Ok time is short. Let us take next point. The leader said that “Only in our country Opposition calls “The leader” as Chor. Is it befitting behavior?”

Ruling Side Debater:-  I will divide my answer in two parts 1) He is right because in no other country Leader is called Chor. In other country they simply catch him & put behind bar but never call him Chor. 2) Our Leader is most honest Leader this country ever had. He allowed all Ruling partners including some opposing partners to plunder. Hence by insulting Leader who not only honest but was instructed to remain honest in distribution, they are actually insulting Madam which is very unfair.

Opposing Side Debater:- Tell me why we should not call him Chor? Agreed he gave chance to some opposing side too. But he never generalized it as he had generalized in ruling side. His selective section is the proof of his dishonest. He is adopting policy of “Andha baate, Apne-Apne ko De”

Aam Debater:- We will do everything inclusively. If we find anyone including our Boss showing favorism even in this type of thing, we will beat him with Cleaner’s rode.

TV Ngo Moderator:- So far this debate is very enlightening. Thanks you all. Now let us take “The Leader said that “He is not custodian of office record” Your take.

Ruling Side Debater:- He is quite correct. How he can be custodian of those office records which are secretly kept under supervision of Madam & are buried his closest relative’s farm land. Under no rule he can viisit a private property owned by a small farmer.

Opposing Side Debater:- This is something funny. Though I agree what Ruling Side Debater says. But his inaction has created a situation where whole country is looking on every one of us with suspicious eyes. He has disgraced us. He could have find any waste file & hand it over to caged parrot so that they could have mentioned that in status report. We demand his resignation. He must resign from Twitter & face at least.

Aam Debater:- In the given situation, The leader can use our Cleaner to find a waste file.

TV Ngo Moderator:- Let us admit Aam Debater suggestion is most constructive suggestion ever heard on a TV Debate. I hope the other participant will also maintain such high standard in debate. Now The Leader said that “It is not job of government to control Onion price & we should not stop work in name of corruption.” Please one by one.

Ruling Side Debater:- The leader’s this remark shows that why he is known as greatest economist. It government will control onion price, from where party funds will be generated? Nobody thinks that before criticizing him As far as corruption is concern we all know “Corruption is nothing but state of mind”. So why all work should be stopped over something which is just state of mind.

Opposing Side Debater:- Even if we leave onion price rise on the pretext that we too get party funds from such activities, we can’t ignore corruption. It is only corruption which has not allowed us to be benefitted in the same way as Ruling Side has benefitted in this golden coalition condition.

Aam Debater:- From our side we announce that if we are given a chance to rule state, we will rule in such a coalition condition so that all get their due equally as Cleaner cleans all without any discrimination.

TV Ngo Moderator:- Thank you Gentlemen. You all have educated our learned viewers by your electrifying, enthusiastic remarks. You are the best that is why you are invited here. I hope our views must have enjoyed & learned new things as usual. Next debate shall be interactive when viewers too may participate. Thanks you very much bye.